Voyassitude

By Vanessa H.

A lot of associations of an ideal trip probably come to your mind when you think about London: the beautiful old golden-colored buildings surrounding the Big Ben, posh people with perfectly ironed trench coats wandering through the city. Fancy tea times with a biscuit in one hand and a scone in the other hand. Romantically strolling through the rainy city under the protection of a checkered umbrella. Maybe even an exciting pub night where you can wear the fancy hat you bought in Regent Street earlier that day. Did you just see Keira Knightley over in that restaurant? Or Emma Watson? Wow. What an amazing and vibrant city.

Okay, okay, maybe this stereotypic description is a bit cliché. But: that and more was my first trip to London 10 years ago… not. But let us start from the very beginning. Join me on my London roller coaster ride. Fasten your seatbelt – it might be bumpy.

Counting Down the Days and German Music

It is fall 2011, and I am still pretty young. To be precise, I am still a pupil in school in Germany. Exciting news has been going around the school hallways: our High School graduation class is organizing a trip to London! All parents got informed, filled out the applications, the (in retrospect suspiciously low) price was paid, the date was set, the buses booked – good to go! Me and my close friends were beyond ready for this trip: Travelling to a foreign country, London with friends, almost no adults (except for Londoners of course!) – we were instantly excited about the idea. How amazing can life actually be! So, some weeks of pre-excitement have passed and our trip started on a Friday night. Parents dropped us off at school and approximately 120 people were stuffed into two big double-decker buses. Trying to get comfortable, we picked our seats on the top in the front (amazing view!) and started having all the conversations you have as a teenager during a very long bus ride. The trip was going during the night, stopping in Calais for the ferry ride over to Dover, where it was to be continued via bus on the wrong side of the road (no offense when I say wrong). And exactly this is when misfortune started to begin… A short note about German pop culture: There is a German pop song called “Disco Pogo”. It is not really a famous or least to say nice song, but I know all the lyrics by heart still to this day. Do you want to know why? One of our school mates liked that trashy pop song so much that he decided to play it… All. Night. Long. During our bus ride. Maybe you are wondering why no one said anything: everyone did! But the teachers somehow did not care (something I cannot wrap my head around until today), so our classmate continued the martyrdom. As a very foreseen consequence, we did not sleep at all this night. What a great preparation for a full day itinerary in London! If you ever have the chance: listen to the great German song on Spotify to sense my pain (“Disco Pogo” by Die Atzen).

In the Heart of London

After a pee-break – where 120 people had to divide themselves among the four not so clean park toilets – our teachers started a London sightseeing city tour. Remember when I told you about the suspiciously low price in the beginning of my story? Well, instead of booking a bus tour where we could seat ourselves comfortably, or booking a real Londoner tour guide who could show us around the city, our teachers decided “Who knows London better if not the German English teachers?” And also instead of forming smaller groups to walk through the city we walked as one group of 120 pupils and the teachers in front. Yes, you read correctly: one group. And if I say teachers in front, I mean front. I recall walking in the back and not being able to hear a single thing they were telling us. And as we are talking about London here, of course, it suddenly started raining and it did not stop for the whole two- hour walking tour. Until this day I think to myself that I would have loved to pay myself for a bus tour from my small pocket money if it could have avoided the miserable and tiring happenings of that morning.

After the “sightseeing tour,” it was finally time to divide the group. We were allowed to walk in little groups of three or four people and explore London on our own. What started as an exciting idea turned out to be a failure – stay with me, I promise I will get there. Firstly, Harrods. Nothing against Harrods, it was fun! Really recommend having a stroll around the beautiful warehouse. I bought several Kings of Leon LPs for 10 Pounds what felt like the biggest bargain you could possibly make!

Secondly, we went to the Camden Market. It was a young and fresh area of London, with a lot of market stands and little shops to explore. One of my friends wanted to buy a stereotypic “I love London” pullover. She and the market stall owner were negotiating over the price (which today seems ridiculously low, it was 15 Pounds). What started as a fun little market-negotiation ended in a real fight over the price between the two. Eventually, they started shouting at each other. Quick-wittedly, we grabbed our friend and walked away quickly to avoid a fight.

Without new pullovers, we next went to the British Museum… for 15 minutes. Yes, you read that number correctly. We kind of imposed a strict schedule on ourselves, hence why we could not afford to have a longer dip into the splendid history of the iconic museum. Neither can I recommend nor not recommend the museum to you because, well, 15 minutes was not enough to form an opinion about anything at all. As you are starting to see, I have not been able to perceive too many things in detail during my time in London.

*Literally* Lost in London

Our last stop was the Tower Bridge, upon which I had a (very) brief glance before we had to get back to our bus to head back to France and Germany. You might remember the year I told you the trip was in: In 2011, Google did of course exist, but it was really uncommon to have Maps on your phone. Let us not even talk about an internet connection in a foreign country. This is why we had to remember where the bus was parked and find it on our own with the help of a classic paper map. You probably see where I am heading with this: We could not find our bus in the large capital of England. I myself have a very good sense of orientation, but somehow, on this very day it lacked its functioning. Must have been the sleep deprivation. When we still could not find the bus after departure time, we started panicking. We asked Londoners passing by to help us, but unfortunately, we were not able to pinpoint the final bus location.

Luckily, we found two other classmates who also were not able to find the bus, which led to five children running around London in panic. And then – there! – the moment of complete hopelessness and the feeling of “Okay, I guess we will stay in London forever now”: We had to cross a street and I do not quite remember how and why. But out of the blue, my friend crashed into a speeding bike on the middle of the street in central London! They both fell, it looked horrible. I instantly thought to myself, that we would have to get an ambulance. But luckily, against my expectation, they both got up, dusted off their bloody knees and both, biker and my friend, continued their ways. It must have been the shock that got them going again so quickly and relatively effortlessly. Shortly after the horrific crash – finally finally – after what felt endless, we were able to find our bus!

The Final Quest – A Ferry Ride and the Aftermath

After being yelled at by the teachers and side-eyed by our fellow class mates, we started the journey back home to Germany. By the way, our Disco Pogo classmate seemed to be exhausted as well because there was no music playing at all. Finally, it was time to have a nap at least. But hang on: The final mention-worthy aspect of this amazing London trip was the ferry ride back from Dover to Calais. You must have noticed that I did not tell you anything about the culinary pleasures London has to offer. That is because I did not eat anything there at all. “Of course I must have eaten something a least,” I tell myself today. My mum packed me a little lunch package (I love her!). But other than that? No. This must have partly been the reason why the upcoming ferry ride was pure horror to me: I felt unbelievably sick, seasick. This was the day I (very, very sadly for my life) found out that I cannot go on ships or boats anymore without the inevitable or taking tablets against the motion sickness. The ride gave me the rest: tired, exhausted and sick to the bone I laid there on the cold ferry floor and just waited for it to be over.

When we were – at last! – home on Sunday morning, I immediately crawled into the healing softness of my bed and slept for one day straight. On Monday at school, half of the group had a cold, the other half was not mentally capable to do anything. Well, there it is, my not so perfect London trip.

Lessons Learned

Today – more than 10 years later – I am a bit over the caricature of a trip. Me and my friends regularly make fun of the poor organization and laugh our asses off about how ridiculous the whole trip was in the end. But you know what? This trip is something I will never forget. It has shaped the way I travel today (organization is key! And a few Pounds for a solid city tour are always well spent), strengthened the friendship back then, formed the way I perceive London, gave me a glimpse into England, its people, its culture and, of course, its language. When I was this young, this trip was everything! It was the key to another world you would only know from books, magazines, stories. It was a first dip into traveling on my own (more or less) and gave me a travel to remember for my whole life.

Finally and lastly, you must wonder if I have ever returned to London after this turbulent travel experience? Nope, not yet. But it is still on my bucket list to fly (yes, fly! No boats please) to the beautiful capital of England, again. There is a lot more to discover in London apart from the sights: the people, the vibe, the food, more remote areas of the city. And guess what: Do I know how and what to do when I will be back there? Yes, I think I have a strong game plan. This time I really, really do.